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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24710521">Citrus</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daire_writes/pseuds/Daire_writes'>Daire_writes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Ex, Eventual Fluff, F/M, M/M, Slow Romance, drink your water!, nishinoia and tanaka bromance levle 1000, non-binary Yui!!, some violence but ill put warnings on those chapters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:56:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,029</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24710521</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daire_writes/pseuds/Daire_writes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugawara has always been tough. He has never let anyone take advantage of him. That is until he met Youko Kimura. She was the perfect partner; the perfect person to spend his life with. That is until they moved in together, she started to say things to belittle Suga. Things that would haunt him for the rest of his life. then things became physical; Suga could easily overpower her but something about how she would cry herself to sleep after every fight stopped him. Before he knew it his life had turned sour. But that was three months ago, and suga was able to escape after she was caught trying to jump off of a bridge. Now Suga is moving into his dormitory for the first semester of sophomore year of college. And his first time in three years he will be able to make his own decisions. He wasn't prepared for his roommate to be so warm and nice to him. No. He's been through this before, don't make connections, and don't make friends. they will end up stabbing you in the back and leaving you to rot. Could he be different from all the others? Only time will tell.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Introduction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey, so this is sort of an introduction to this story, and myself. My name is Kai and while I've written things in the past this is my first time using AO3 so please forgive any technical errors. This story will <em>not</em> have any smut in it. I get very uncomfortable with anything revolving, <em>that</em>... Moving forward This story may contain triggering content, some being mention of past domestic abuse, mentions of suicide and self-harm, PTSD, and anxiety and panic attacks. if any of these are triggers for you I'd suggest you either click off of this story or read with caution and at your own risk. I will be putting warning at the beginning of the chapter and when one of them specifically pops up in the story. My top priority is that you all can enjoy the story! The next thing I want to bring up is if there are any inaccuracies with things such as PTSD <em>please</em> comment and or let me know, I know how much I hate it when things I know a lot about whether it be from a friend or first hand is misrepresented. So please let me know if something is inaccurate or portrayed wrong. I don't know how long this fic will be but as soon as I do ill let you know. And the last thing I want to tell you is to enjoy the story and please no negative comments, this does not include positive criticism about miss rep and such. Until next time, my fellow humans, and enjoy the ride!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The start to a new beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Trigger warning - panic attack, brief past abuse, and Suicide mention</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Suga pulled his car into the closest open parking spot to the dorm building. He put the car in park and pulled the key out of the ignition. he opened his car door and walked around the back of the car to his passenger seat. he pulled the door open and pulled out a small cardboard box with some of his more important and breakable belongings. he set the box down next to his feet as he opened the side door of his 2016 Toyota Allison. It certainly wasn't a Ferrari, but it got the job done, though it could use a wash. the white paint looked almost grey from all of the dirt, and grime.</p><p>Suga pulled the two other cardboard boxes out of his back seat and set them on the ground too. He stacked them with his more fragile possessions on top and his clothes and books on the bottom. He strained to lift the boxes up and grudgingly decided to take two trips. He took the two boxes from the back and put the other one back in the passenger seat.</p><p>Suga made his way to the glass doors and swiped his card to get into the building. He had already picked up everything he needed at the front desk. He was on the third floor and his dorm room was number 95. He entered the elevator and hit the third-floor button with his elbow. He noticed how quiet the elevator moved, unlike the one back at his old apartment. He shivered at the thought of the place and tried to push it out of his mind. he focused instead on the ceiling of the elevator. It was made entirely of mirrors, and Suga saw his pale face starring back down at him. His cow's lick was standing up per usual in his silver hair. The elevator smelled of lemons and citrus. He smiled at the smell hoping the whole place smelled like this.</p><p>The elevator dinged as it came to a slow stop. The doors opened up to reveal a brightly lit hallway with rooms lining each wall and turning down left looping to the other side of the floor making a horseshoe shape. The building had 100 rooms in total housing four people each. That meant that there were about 400 people in this building alone. Not to mention the five other dorm buildings.</p><p>Suga made his way down the hallway to find his room. The floor started with number 75 and went up from there. There were 8 rooms down each hallway meaning Suga had to walk all the way around the hall to get to his dorm. As he approached his room he heard loud voices echoing down the hall from his room. As he got closer he set the boxed down and he could make out a higher-pitched voice yelling,</p><p>"Why are they both so fucking attractive?" another voice piped in. This one lower and rougher,</p><p>"I don't know man, but I've got dibs in Kiyoko so you can take Asahi," Suga set down his boxes next to the door.</p><p>"But-" the voice was cut short when another voice interrupted him.</p><p>"Quit complaining about people who are hot. Especially when one of them lives with us and could walk through that door at any moment" This voice sounded assertive but warm. It made him smile. He took a step back. Why was he smiling? He didn't know who that voice belonged to, what if he tried to hurt him? Suga was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize that someone had walked up next to him until they taped him on his shoulder. Suga jumped back instinctively and put his arms up.</p><p>"Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to frighten you!" The man sounded worried and he seemed nice enough. Suga slowly lowered his hands and relaxed his shoulders.</p><p>"It's okay, it was my fault, to begin with. I spaced out and didn't see you there," Suga laughed while he rubbed the back of his neck. "My name is Sugawara Koshi, but you can just call me Suga. What’s yours?" he looked older than him by at least a year. Was he a student or a teacher?</p><p>"My name is Azumane Asahi. I'm a sophomore here. Are you our new roommate?" Asahi had a very warm voice. Suga could hardly believe that he was the same age as him. Wait Asahi, wasn't that the name the people in the dorm said? "Do you need help unpacking anything?"</p><p>"Huh?" Suga had spaced out again and it took a second for him to process what Asahi had asked him, "Oh um I think I've got it. I’ve only got one more box and then I'm good." he picked up the boxes he had set on the floor earlier.</p><p>"Okay, if you do need anything just let me-" Asahi was cut off by the higher-pitched voice,</p><p>"I don't give a damn Daich! I’m having an existential critics!"</p><p>"Oh, what is Noya talking about now?" He chuckled to himself and opened the door and began to walk in, "Hey guy-" the poor guy was cut off once again by Noya, but this time instead of him talking he let out a shrill scream of terror.</p><p>Suga decided to follow Asahi inside. He kicked the door lightly behind him until it closed. He tried to take it all in but it was hard what with Noya shrieking and Asahi freaking out. A bald guy laughed his ass off during this whole incident and a tall guy with brown hair just sat looking like a disappointed but amused father towards his children. He laughed at his simile. The dad guy was the first to acknowledge him.</p><p>"Hey," he stood up with a warm smile on his face, "You must be our new roommate. My name is Daichi Suwamara, its nice to meet you," he trailed off not knowing Suga's name.</p><p>"Oh uh, my name is uh it’s Sugawara Koshi, but you can call me Suga" he stumbled over his words while he tried to get them out all at once. Daichi laughed at this and pointed to the bed directly to his left.</p><p>"This will be your bed Suga, there are extra blankets and pillows in the closet on your right," he jabbed his thumb towards a small linen closet crammed between an unmade bed and the corner of the wall. The room smelled of oranges, unlike the lemon-scented hallway.</p><p>"Thanks," Suga smiled and set the two boxes on top of his desk. There were four loft beds in the room, all made of polished wood. "Also, how come the hallway smells like lemons and the room smells like oranges? "Daichi got an excited look on his face and turned to the bald guy who was sitting Crisscross on the carpet,</p><p>"See Tanaka, I told you there was a difference!" Tanaka flipped him off half-heartedly, clearly more interested in the conversation going on between Asahi and Noya.</p><p>"You need to learn how to knock dude!" Noya was still freaking out probably worried that he herd what he had been saying about how he was attractive.</p><p>**TRIGGER WARNING FOR PANIC ATTACKS**</p><p>"Noya this is my dorm, not yours! And I already told you I was sorry I didn't mean to scare you like that!" Asahi looked close to tears which just made Tanaka roar louder. Suga began to feel closed in. The room felt too small for this many people in it. He tried to look for an easy exit but he had closed the door and the windows were closed. He tried to get to the door but his feet wouldn't move. His heart began to beat and his breathing became short and shallow. His thoughts blurred and the only thoughts he could thing were, 'they are going to make fun of me and hate me once they realize what’s happening,' and 'i think I'm dying' his vision began to swirl and all of the sounds started to move around him as blood rushed to his head. Suga grabbed his ears and squeezed his eyes closed in hopes to help but the world began to spin. He was shaking and he began to dig his fingernails into the palms of his hands when he felt two hands on his shoulders. He didn’t pay it much attention until he heard a voice cut through the panic.</p><p>"Hey, Suga? Are you okay? Do you want me to take you outside?" Suga opened his eyes but they were blurred with tears he could just barely make out whom he believed to be Daichi. Suga tried to figure out how to respond without either bursting into tears or collapsing into a hyperventilating mess, but before he could do either he felt two hands gently guiding him out of the room. "Is it okay if I put my arm over your shoulders?" all Suga could do was nod. He felt Daichi’s arm over his back and shoulder. He opened the door and lead him to the elevators.</p><p>Suga began to breathe more sporadically and he started to shake more noticeably. The elevator clicked and Daichi led Suga inside. "Its okay Suga I've got you, nothing is going to hurt you I promise," His voice sounded so calm and smooth but he could feel the slight shake in his hand on his shoulder. 'it won't be okay, it won’t be fine, in dying!' at that moment Suga collapsed and started sobbing. he tried to apologize to Daichi, "I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry...," he repeated it over and over until he ran out of breath which he then mouthed the words.</p><p>when the elevator doors dinged Suga felt a soft tug on his arms. he let Daichi list him up and drape one of Suga's arm over his shoulder and brought him outside. The second the cool autumn air hit his tear-streaked face he took a long-overdue breath and collapsed back down on the pavement.</p><p>"Hey it’s okay just breath," Daichi was rubbing circles on his back and his mind began to clear up a bit along with his hearing. He could hear the singing of the few birds left in the dusk sky and the chirping of the crickets. He steadied his breathing to the time of Daichi’s hand on his back. Wait, Daichi was touching his back. Suga is too weak to fight him, what if he tries something? His worries were cut short when Daichi moved his hand away and sat in front of him about a foot away.</p><p>"I don't want to intrude on your personal space, it seemed like me being that close was causing unneeded stress so ill be right here okay?" Suga was taken aback, had Daichi picked up on that?</p><p>**PANIC ATTACK OVER**</p><p>Suga began to take a few more deep breaths. He unclenched his fists and looked at the damage done. He hated it when this happened. He was bleeding from where he had clenched his fingernails into the palms of his hands.</p><p>"I have some stuff for that back in the dorm if you want me to help," Daichi motioned towards Sugas hands</p><p>"oh, thanks," was all Suga could manage. he was exhausted and now that the adrenaline had started to wear off his hands began to throb.</p><p>"Do you get panic attacks from small spaces or crowds?" Daichi had a look of concern on his face. Great, He couldn't have even gone an hour without screwing everything all up. "You don't need to tell me now but id like to know how I can help you,"</p><p>"Um," where could Suga start? he's always had anxiety, but it didn’t get bad until Kimura, 'no we aren’t thinking about her', "Both, but I think that the thing that triggered the attack was all the noise," Suga's heart had began to slow down. At this point and he had stopped crying. He wiped his face off with the backed of his hands.</p><p>"Okay, I’ll be sure to make sure they keep it down in the future. They aren’t always that loud, at least not in the dorms," Daichi seemed so sincere it was hard for Suga to not trust him, but he learned the hard way that that could just be a facade.</p><p>"Thank you, I’m so sorry for the-" Daichi cut him off.</p><p>"Don't apologize, it wasn't your fault," He smiled lightly and Suga's checks felt slightly warm. He was too tired to chide himself about it so instead, he decided to talk to Daichi about something else,</p><p>"Thanks, also, how did you know what to do? I've never had someone be able to calm me down this fast," this was one of the more prominent questions on his mind at the time. Daichi had done everything right all the way up to asking to touch him rather than just doing it while leading him out.</p><p>"Oh, Asahi gets panic attacks too. Usually from large crowds or the occasional bad confrontation. I'm glad I could help you," he said it so casually it put suga at ease. Suga smiled at that. Poor Asahi, he seemed so tough but he was just a big softie. "You look cold, do you want to head back inside?" the thought of going back into that small room with all those people freaked him out, but not as much as the fear of all the noise bouncing off of all the walls.</p><p>"Uh, no. I'm, I'm fine. But if you are cold you could go back. I'll just sit here for a few more minutes. I need to get the last box of my things from my car anyway," Suga had nearly forgotten the last box. It consisted of three beanie babies, four framed pictures, and two old Christmas ornaments from his childhood. These were the only things from when he was young he had left since his childhood home burnt down two years ago.</p><p>"Well, I'm not going to leave you out here all alone. Here," Daichi took off his sweatshirt and handed it to suga. He was wearing a long-sleeve school shirt under it. Suga hesitated at first. Wow, he was already being a burden on people and it hasn't even been a day in the dorms. "It's no big deal, I was hot anyway," It was as if he could read Suga's mind.</p><p>"Thanks," he reached out and took the sweatshirt. It was still heavy with heat. He put it on and wrapped his arms around his torso. The sweatshirt was comfy, he needed to get himself some.</p><p>"Do you want to talk about anything? Or we could just sit here, whatever you want to do," Suga thought on it for a second before answering,</p><p>"We can talk,"</p><p>"Okay, any topic in particular?"</p><p>"What is your major?" Suga figured it was as good a place to start as any. Daichi smiled before answering,</p><p>"I am still undecided, but I'm thinking about going into photography," Suga could see him in photography, "You?"</p><p>"I'm planning on being a teacher," Suga waited for Daichi to laugh at him but instead, he smiled kindly,</p><p>"I bet you will do great as a teacher!" he seemed excited, but why? It's not like Suga was all that interesting, his job choice was far from unique and he wasn't that interesting of a person either.</p><p>"Thanks, Daichi I bet you will be a great photographer as well," Suga smiled but before Daichi could respond the street lamps flicked on. Suga hadn't realized how dark it had gotten in the time they spent out there. "Oh wow it's getting late, I'm sorry for keeping you out so late. I'll grab my last box then I'll be right back up; you don't need to wait for me," Suga quickly stood up only realizing his mistake when it was too late. His vision blurred and his body went limp. 'shit' he felt himself fall into something other than the ground. He squeezed his eyes closed for a few seconds before his senses came back to him. He slowly opened his eyes, he was staring up at the sky. he felt something warm under him. he had fallen, but on what? it was too soft to be the grass and definitely wasn't the concrete. Just then he felt something move under him.</p><p>"Suga! Are you okay?" Daichi appeared in his line of vision. he must have caught him before he fell.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm okay sorry, I stood up to fast," oh the joy of having Orthostatic Hypotension. He tried to sit up but Daichi put his hand on his chest,</p><p>"Are you sure your okay? There isn't anything here to grab onto, if I wasn't here you could have gotten seriously hurt," His face was painted with worry. Suga knew all to well that he could have gotten hurt. When he was in high school Suga nearly fell off of a building after he stood up to fast. He's usually more careful when standing up, But after the panic attack, he wasn't thinking straight.</p><p>"Yeah I promise, I just got up to fast I'm fine," Suga reassured him as he sat up and slowly stood back up.</p><p>"Iron deficiency?"</p><p>"Nah, Orthostatic Hypotension," Suga made his way to his car and opened the passenger seat.</p><p>"What's that? I don't think I've heard of it,"</p><p>"It's a rare subtype thingie," Suga waved his hand above his head not being able to bring himself to remember everything else, "It's not deadly or anything, just inconvenient," Suga pulled out the box and closed the door with his foot. "Alright, all good,"</p><p>Suga and Daichi make their way back into the dorm which had quieted down. When Daichi opened the door he was greeted by Asahi and Tanaka,</p><p>"Hey Dadchi, we didn't scare Suga away did we?" Tanaka was sitting at his desk with a pencil dangling from his mouth.</p><p>"Hey guys, is everything alright? I just saw you guys leave, but I didn't have time to ask then," Asahi was sitting at the desk in the far right corner with a stack of books and papers lying spread across his desk</p><p>"Yeah we're fine, I just needed some air and I needed to grab this," He lifted the box as he set it down on his desk. Daichi grabbed some wrap and began to wrap up his hands. It wasn't terrible but there was defiantly some damage done al be it minor.</p><p>"Are you sure? If we stressed you out or something please let us know, the last thing I want is to be the reason you get a panic attack or stressed out," Asahi pulled out his earbud and smiled at suga as he finished saying it.</p><p>"Yeah I'm okay, it was just too loud and I wasn't expecting it and panicked I'm sorry," Suga laughed and tugged at his hands.</p><p>"Don't be sorry, Noya and Tanaka can get carried away and they don't always realize what's going on outside of them while in the moment, but they are both nice and caring people," Asahi smiled apologetically and put his earbuds back in pulling out another book from his bag.</p><p>"Hey I'm not that inconsiderate," Tanaka wiggled the pencil between his teeth.</p><p>"So, are you guys hungry? I can go pick up something if you want," Daichi picked up his phone and car keys.</p><p>"Hell yeah!" Tanaka spits out the pencil he was chewing on and spun around with his chair.</p><p>"I'd be down," Asahi was pulled out of his music once again.</p><p>"Suga what would you like?" Daichi turned to Suga who had sat down in his desk chair.</p><p>"Huh? Oh um, whatever you guys decide on I'm cool with," Suga had spaced out once again, replaying what had happened outside. Had Daichi managed to bring him all the way outside with no one realizing exactly what had happened?</p><p>"You sure?" Daichi brought him back to reality once again.</p><p>"Yeah I'm positive," Suga smiled at Daichi and began to spin in his chair.</p><p>"Oh no not another Noya," Tanaka laughed at Suga's spinning, "Noya does that constantly, honestly, I don't know how he doesn't get dizzy from it," Tanaka said the last bit more to himself than anyone else.</p><p>"Alright well, what does everyone else want?" Daichi looked over to Asahi and Tanaka.</p><p>"I could go for some steamed meat buns from that store downtown," Asahi offered.</p><p>"Bro those are the best!" Tanaka leaned back in his chair and pumped his fists in the air, then pulled them down.</p><p>"Alright so its settled, meat buns coming right up," Daichi spun his keys around his pointer finger and headed for the door, "I should be back in about ten to fifteen minutes,"</p><p>"'aight," Tanaka spoke mid-yawn, "See ya,"</p><p>Suga took this time to unpack some. His bed had a dresser built-in under the left side of the bed and a bookshelf to the right. There were privacy curtains that surround each bed pined back so that all of them are open. 'this will be nice for changing' Suga was worried about sharing a dorm with so many people due to the lack of privacy but this school seemed to have taken care of that. There was a lamp on the desk with the cord trailing through a circular hole in the desk. He opened the box he had just brought back and turned on the lamp. It had two plug-in ports and some storage spots. He pulled out the pictures and placed them on his desk. The first one was of him and his mom in front of his high school on graduation day. He placed it next to the lamp angled towards him. The next one was a smaller one of his dog Cerberus. He was a grey pit bull and the sweetest dog he had ever met. He set that one on the other side of his lamp. The next picture was of him and his high school volleyball team. He was the vice-captain and the starting setter. He smiled as he set it down in the back left corner of his desk and pointed it towards himself. The last photo was of his fellow setter, Tobio Kagayama, and himself back at school. After Suga left Tobio got starting setter, and Suga couldn't have been more proud of him. He set the Christmas ornaments on to his desk and put them aside. He grabbed four beanie babies from the box and pulled his chair so that he could stand on it to get to his bed without actually getting in it. He set them on his pillow and went to move the empty box. As he picked up the box he saw something sticking under one of the bottom folds of the box.</p><p>** BRIEF MENTION OF SUICIDE AND PAST ABUSE**</p><p>When he pulled it out he realized it was a picture of Kimura. 'how did this get in here' Suga's heart started to race as he flipped the picture over to reveal a message she left him the day before she tried to kill herself. He could probably recite in his sleep at this point but he reread it anyway,</p><p>
  <em>"Suga, I know that I mistreated you, but you could have stood up. That's what I wanted you to do; honestly, it's like you never even looked into the reason I did what I did. But that's beside the point. by the time you see this ill be dead, "woohoo!" I know its great for both of us. I hurt you and you couldn't help me. we were both just destined for different things, and that's okay. I know you probably won't morn me and I deserve that, but at least don't skip out on my funeral please. Go get the degree you want and find someone better for you. I loved you too much and ended up hurting both of us. So live your life for me and get out of the shit hole I created for you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Kimura</em>
</p><p>The letter always gave suga chills. He wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry at it. On one hand, Kimura was his abuser and hurt him countless times, but on the other, she was just a sick girl who didn't get the help she needed and deserved. while she didn't die, she was caught and placed into a psychiatric ward for the foreseeable future; he didn't wait to leave their apartment and enroll back into college and move into the dorms. But the thought of her death still unnerved him. Would he morn her? or would he have been as relieved as he was when he found out she was not coming back? He was interrupted by Tanaka peaking over his shoulder,</p><p>**MENTION OVER**</p><p>"Is that your girlfriend?" Suga jumped and stuffed the picture in his pocket.</p><p>"No, well yes, but no. She's my ex? Yeah, she's my ex," Suga had never actually broken up with her so technically they were still together, though he hoped that she got the message that he wasn't coming back even after she gets out.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Tanaka looked confused.</p><p>"We never actually broke up," Suga began to wring his hands, "But I left and she got the message, I think," Suga mumbled the <em>I think</em> part of it but Tanaka herd it.</p><p>"You think?" thankfully Asahi bud in, saving him from having to go farther in depth</p><p>"Tanaka leave him alone, you only just met stop trying to get him to spill his whole life story to you," </p><p>"Thanks, Asahi," Suga laughed to shake any suspicions Tanaka might have had.</p><p>"Oh, I didn't mean to push. My bad," Tanaka smiled sheepishly and slid back to his desk.</p><p>"It's okay," Suga sat down in his chair and pulled the box with his clothes in it and began to unpack. once he had finished his clothes he turned his chair around and began to unpack some of his books. He put the books for school on the top shelf and then his personal books on the other three shelves. he put his Percy Jackson books along with his other Rick Riordan books on the second-highest shelf right at eye level after all they were his childhood. He stuck some of his old small books from school he was able to keep, like Ferenheight 451 and Tuck Everlasting on the first shelf too. he put the other mismatched books by various authors on the next two shelves. How he managed to fit that many books in one box he didn't know.</p><p>The door handle clicked and Daichi entered the dorm with a bag of steaming meat buns, "Hey guys I'm-" Tanaka was already on him digging in the bag to pull out a meat bun.</p><p>"Ak! Hey, wait your turn! Suga gets first to pick since he's new!" Daichi smacked Tanaka over the head only half playfully.</p><p>"Oh, thank you," Suga stood up and picked a medium-sized meat bun. Asahi picked next, then Daichi, and then finally Tanaka got the last one.</p><p>"You guys got the best ones," Tanaka grumped as he nibbled on his meat bun.</p><p>"Well that's your fault for being greedy and impatient," Daichi threw the paper bag in the trash and set his phone and keys down on his desk. They all pulled their chairs in a circle in the middle of the room and ate and laughed. Suga sat back from the conversation and took everyone in. Tanaka is loud and obnoxious but he's also caring and funny. Asahi is a complete sweetheart and Daichi, he seemed to be the "leader" of the group per se. He had the most authority and held a parental position over them almost. He thought back on the short guy, Noya, he was the literal description of a puppy dog. Suga could tell that they were going to get along just fine.</p><p>By the time they finished eating it was already nine-thirty. "Alright everyone lets get to bed, we have school tomorrow," Daichi pulled his chair back to his desk and motioned for the others to do the same. Suga dragged his chair back by the back of it. the wheels gliding across the wood floor. Everyone pulled the curtains closed and got ready for bed.</p><p>once everyone was all ready for bed we pulled the curtains back and climbed into bed.</p><p>"Goodnight broskis, Dadchi, Jesus, and um, uhh," Tanaka paused for a moment before blurting, "Sugamamma!"</p><p>"Suga-what?" suga sat up in bed laughing at the odd nickname.</p><p>"It was the first thing I could think of, and anyway you have serious mom energy," Tanaka defended himself as he sat up in bed too.</p><p>"At least you aren't freaking Jesus," Asahi sat up as well.</p><p>"It's just a thing he and Noya do. They feel the need to give everyone really weird nicknames," Daichi sat up and laughed at Suga's face of confusion.</p><p>"Ah, so I'm his mom now?" Suga started to catch on to how things work.</p><p>"Not just mine, everyone's!" Tanaka flopped back down on his bed smacking his hand against the side, "Owch!" </p><p>"Be careful!" both Suga and Daichi spoke at the same time.</p><p>"And that my dear friends, is why you guys are Dadchi and Sugamamma," Tanaka rubbed the back of his hand.</p><p>"Wait so does that mean," Suga trailed off pointing to Asah.</p><p>"Yup. I am everyone's Jesus," He sounded done with everything and then he laughed, "Yeah it's weird but were all one big family. And I get free food from Noya and Tanaka as offering to drive them places so its a win-win," He had more life in his voice now.</p><p>"Is it just us four and Noya?" Suga tried to remember if there was anyone else he forgot.</p><p>"Nah there is one other goddess, and her name is Kiyoko and shes mine so back off," Tanaka sat back in bed suddenly very interested in talking about Kiyoko.</p><p>"You better not creep her out Tanaka or I swear to god I'll-" Daichi was cut off by Tanaka,</p><p>"Me? Do anything that would make Kiyoko upset or uncomfortable? Who do you peg me for? I respect Kiyoko more than I respect myself!" Tanaka faked a hurt face.</p><p>"Okay, okay, everyone go to sleep its late and class starts early tomorrow," Daichi got up and turned the light off and walked back to his bed, but was stopped by Tanaka's chair which was pulled out farther than his bed.</p><p>"Tanaka!" the room didn't need to be lit to see the fear on Tanaka's face.</p><p>"Yes, daddy?" Tanaka responded into the dark</p><p>there were frustrated noises coming from Daichi and then a loud smack against Tanaka's bed. It made suga jump and he shot his arms up over his chest and face before he realized that he was fine. He felt stupid and moved his arms down hoping no one saw.</p><p>"Hey let's not make loud noises okay? Especially this late at night," Asahi had a hint of worry in his voice. Had he seen? Suga hoped not. This is not how he had hoped to start his new life away from all of the past. Daichi and Asahi seemed to have a silent conversation,</p><p>"I'm sorry I didn't really think that one through," Daichi apologized to the dark and climbed back into his bed. </p><p>"Goodnight everyone," Asahi had such a warm voice it calmed him down.</p><p>"Night Asahi," Suga responded followed by mumbles from Tanaka and Daichi. Suga laid down and pulled the covers over himself and buried his face in his pillow and turned sideways cuddling the stuffed animals close to his chest.</p><p>'New life here I come' Suga thought as he slipped into a comforting slumber.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okay, so I'm super excited about this and I hope that you are too! I've proofread this multiple times so there shouldn't be any grammatical errors but if there are, just let me know. for those of you who skipped the panic attack basically Daichi brought Suga outside and they sat there until he was able to calm down. for those of you who skipped the trigger warning for suicide, it was basically suga reading his ex's suicide note that had accidentally gotten placed in the box. She didn't succeed and she now lives in a psychiatric ward for the seeable future. I'm going to try and update on a weekly basis once a week.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Orange Peels And Lemon Juice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Suga woke early that morning to someone's alarm going off. It was an upbeat song with lyrics that were a bit too catchy. he rolled over and saw Asahi moving around. It was still dark out, how early was it? Suga sat up rubbing his eyes.</p><p>"Oh, Suga I'm so sorry I didn't mean to wake you," Asahi's warm voice cut through the darkness.</p><p>"No it's okay I need to get up soon anyway," Suga crossed his legs as he sat more upright in bed. His eyes began to focus more as they became accustomed to the dark. He could make out Asahi as he slipped on a sweatshirt.</p><p>"Oh, Suga I was meaning to ask you something. You don't need to answer but I wanted to know, do you have any triggers? I noticed the way you reacted to Daichi banging Tanaka's bed and how you reacted when I taped your shoulder yesterday," Suga wasn't sure how to react. Other than Daichi he had never been asked something like that.</p><p>"Well, mainly loud noises and yelling but quick movements also can trigger a panic attack but it usually just startles me," Suga pulled his stuffed animals to his chest. He didn't know why but they always seemed to help calm him down.</p><p>"Thank you for telling me, I'll be sure to avoid those," Suga could hear his smile in his voice, "Oh, god I'm going to be late, I'm supposed to pick up Noya. By Suga!" Asahi rushed out of the room, closing the door silently behind him.</p><p>Suga climbed out of bed and turned his phone on, 5:20, if he hurried he could make it to the cafe downtown he saw on his way here. He glanced in his mirror and winced at how his hair stuck out separately. he grabbed his brush and tamed it the best he could. He slipped on a pair of faded blue jeans and a baseball-t with dark blue sleeves with the rest of it is a light beige. He put on his pair of light blue converse and, grabbed his keys slipping out of the dorm room and down the hall to the elevator.</p><p>The lights inside of it buzzed as it glided down. Once the doors parted he slipped through the empty lounge and over to the food bar. He grabbed his water bottle and placed a few lemon slices into the compartment meant for fruit, and headed for the door.</p><p>He walked out of the doors and headed towards his car. Once he opened it and sat inside he shivered. 'maybe I should have brought a hoodie' he thought glancing around his car to see if he had any lying around it. The only downside of having a neat car is that there is no hope for finding whatever random thing you are looking for. 'oh well I'll be fine it's only half a day'. Suga starts his car and begins to pull out of the parking lot. He glanced down at his books to make sure he had everything. when he looked back up someone was facing away from him about a foot away from the car. Suga slammed on the breaks nearly missing him. He rolled his window down, "Hey! What are you doing standing in the middle of the street? You could get hurt," The guy didn't respond. Suga tried again, "Hey! are you okay?" the guy still didn't respond. Suga sighed and got out of the car.</p><p>Suga walked around to face the guy. "oh you've got to be kidding me," the guy in front of him had his head down slightly and his eyes closed. Suga shook him lightly but didn't get a response. Was this dude seriously sleepwalking in the middle of the parking lot? He had light brown hair that was almost as disheveled as his was this morning. He had a light greenish teal T-Shirt on and white workout short shorts. Suga looked around in hopes to find someone or something that could lead to where he came from. Was he from his dorm room? or had he just wandered into the parking lot by mistake? Suga found nothing that could have helped him figure out more about the guy. "Who are you?" Just then Suga heard a voice coming from behind him,</p><p>"Oikawa you idiot!" a disheveled young man was running towards him from the entrance of the dorm building. "For crying out loud you idiot, what the hell are you doing? You're going to get yourself killed!" when he reached Oikawa and Suga he stopped to catch his breath. Suga took advantage of this time to speak up,</p><p>"Do you know him?" kind of a dumb question but it's the only thing Suga could think to ask.</p><p>"Yeah, this asshole is my dorm mate, and a pain in the ass," he straightened up and examined Oikawa. "You're lucky you didn't get hurt," Suga didn't think that he could hear him but that didn't stop him from yelling at him.</p><p>"Who are you?" Suga checked the time, silently chiding himself. It was already 5:40, he was bound to be late if he didn't get going soon.</p><p>"Are you new here? My name is Iwaizami. I'm a sophomore here. Iwaizumi was trying to wake up Oikawa by shaking his shoulders lightly.</p><p>"Yeah I'm new, my name is Suga," Suga didn't want to be rude but he also didn't want to be late, "Um, if you've got him and all I think I'm going to get to class,"</p><p>"Oh shit, of course, you would have class if you're up this early, I'm super sorry for him I hope you get to class alright," Iwaizumi turned Oikawa around and led him back to the building. Suga could hear him mumbling about something,</p><p>"Iwa-chan, you didn't say thank you," Iwaizumi stopped walking and turned around,</p><p>"By the way thank you for helping him, most people would just drive around him and leave him in the dust," he gave a thankful smile and turned back around to Oikawa, "There, now get your ass back in bed,"</p><p>"I like aliens a lot," Oikawa began to laugh as Iwaizumi led him back into the dorm room.</p><p>Suga got back into his car and began to drive off towards the school. Of course, he was going to be late on his first day of school. That's just his luck. It looks like he won't be stopping to get breakfast after all.</p><p>Suga was almost halfway to the school when he heard a weird thumping noise and his car started bouncing. Suga cursed and pulled his car to the side of the road. He hesitantly got out of the car and began to examine his tires. The front tires were fine, which gave him hope. He made his way around the back of the car to check the back two tires. The right one was fine. Suga hoped to anything and everything that the tire was alright, but when he approached the last tire he was less than lucky. There was a large chunk of glass lodged into the tire, and suga could hear air leaking out of it. He let out a series of frustrated noises and close to swear words as he stood up and began to bang his head against his car. "Could this day get any worse?" Just then suga heard a car stop next to him,</p><p>"Hey cutie, need a ride?" When he turned around to face the car a middle-aged woman was wearing way too much makeup driving a dirty SUV in front of him. Suga got really bad vibes from her, although he gets bad vibes from a lot of people, he really didn't trust this woman,</p><p>"Um, I'm okay my friend is coming to pick me up now. He should be here soon," Suga didn't have anyone coming for him but he hoped that that would be enough to make her leave. </p><p>"Oh well, I can wait with you until he comes then," before suga could complain she was pulling off the road and parked in front of him. The last thing he wanted was to be anywhere within a 10-mile radius of this person. Now, what was he supposed to do? He could always ask Daichi? No, he doesn't want to bother him with something like this. But then again if no one comes to pick him up what will he tell the lady. 'think Suga think,' the only thing he could think of was to text someone in his dorm room. Tanaka doesn't seem to have a car and Asahi had class. Was Daichi free? What if he had class too, but it was Suga's only option. He pulled out his phone a quickly texted Daichi,</p><p>'<em>SOS'</em> Suga only has time to send his location to Daichi before the woman gets out of her car and begins to walk over. He shoves his phone back into his pocket after trying to turn it off three times before it actually went off.</p><p>"So, what's your name?" Suga felt very uncomfortable. He could smell the cigarettes on her breath making him wince and wish he could hold his breath. Her eyes looked predatory.</p><p>"Suga," Suga has never been in a situation like this so he tried to talk as little as possible hoping Daichi would arrive faster.</p><p>"I like quiet men, do your parents know you're out this early?" Suga's eyes widened as he took a step away from her. They were leaning against his car and each step he took away she took closer to him.</p><p>"Um, I'm not- I don't," Suga didn't know how to respond to something like that, and her breath was making it hard for him to breath. When was Daichi going to be here? Will he even come? Did he press send? thoughts raced through his head as he tried to keep a poker face.</p><p>"Aww, you're so cute, my name is-," before no-name bitch could continue what she was saying someone else rolled to a stop in front of them. When the windows rolled down suga nearly cried out of relief.</p><p>"Hey Suga, I got your text sorry I was late my car wouldn't start," Daichi glanced at Suga then at no-name bitch then back at him. He seemed to understand because he was quick to not let her get anything out. </p><p>"Here," He got out of his car and walked over to the passenger side door and grabbed his bag and water bottle, "This all you need?"</p><p>"Yeah that's it," Daichi pulled Suga's Keys out of the car and locked it up. When he walked back around he looked no-name bitch in the eyes. She must have been intimidated because she stepped back.</p><p>"I should be going. I'm glad your friend got here alright!" she said the second part over her shoulder as she made her way quickly to her car starting it and driving away without another word.</p><p>Suga let out a breath he hadn't even noticed he was holding. "Hey, are you okay? Did she do anything?" Daichi's eyes were filled with concern.</p><p>"Yeah, 'm fine, she didn't do anything" he was trying to steady his breathing while Daichi took out his phone and began to take pictures of the car. "What are you doing?"</p><p>"Oh, I didn't know if you wanted to report it to the police? She obviously thought you were younger than you are," he zoomed in on the picture he had taken. It got the whole license plate in it and it wasn't blurry.</p><p>"How did you know that?"</p><p>"The way she stood and talked to you, the way she looked at you, the fact that she got out of her car to wait with you," Daichi ticked off reasons as he handed Suga his car keys and his bag, "Everything about her screamed child predator of you ask me," Suga grabbed his things from Daichi and they made their way to Daichi's car. "We can pick your car up after class, I have a spare that should work," Daichi pulled his car into drive and began to drive off.</p><p>"Was she that obvious?" Suga could tell she was bad news but Daichi had decided she was bad with one glance.</p><p>"Yes and no. To me, yes but to other people, it might not have been as obvious with just one glance. The only reason I was able to tell is because I was really into policing for most of my life since my dad was in the force I got a lot of info from him," Daichi said it so nonchalant. Like he wasn't able to just pick out a child predator with one glance.</p><p>"That's super cool and helpful. Thank you so much for just dropping everything and coming to get me with only my location and '<em>SOS</em>'" Suga realized how bad things could have ended and was glad Daichi had done what he did.</p><p>"Of course, I've learned that if I get a text with someone's location and almost nothing else that it's an emergency," Daichi changed to the fast lane in hopes to get to class faster.</p><p>"You've learned? How many times has something like this happened?" Suga smiled at the thought of Daichi dropping whatever he was doing after getting nothing but a location.</p><p>"Too many times from Noya. I swear that kid thinks it fun to get himself in dangerous situations," Daichi seemed to remember something before laughing to himself. It made suga smile and giggle as well. He hadn't realized it before but Daichi's laugh was contagious. "One time I got a location from Noya and it was like five hours away from our town, we grew up in the same town, and I usually wouldn't go but I got a bad feeling so I decided to just go. Turned out that he had snuck out to go to some underground rock band in some abandoned barn and had gotten waisted to the point he couldn't even remember his name. He still doesn't remember it to this day," Suga laughed. The thought of Daichi getting a location five hours away at ungodly hours of the night just to have to drag a half cohesive Noya back home was so far fetched yet so accurate to Noya.</p><p>Suga looked down at the clock in Daichi's car to see if they would make it even semi on time. Suga was not prepared to see 8:56. 'no way, how had over two hours already passed?'</p><p>As if Daichi could read Suga's mind he switched the clock to the radio so instead of the time, it showed a song title and band name, "Sorry that clock is off by a lot. I just can't figure out how to fix it," Relief flooded Suga once against he pulled out his phone to see the actual time was, 5:55. Thank god, he still had a chance to make it to class on time.</p><p>Just as suga thought that he saw the school coming into view. Daichi pulled in and turned to Suga with excitement in his eyes,</p><p>"I have three minutes to get to the other side of the school on the third floor wish me luck!" Daichi handed Suga the car keys and hoped out of the car making a beeline to the doors. Suga laughed as he climbed out of the car and locked it up. Luckily his classroom was on the first floor right by the door so he made it to class with ease. He found an open seat next to a guy with white and black spiked hair,</p><p>"Is this seat taken?" Suga pointed at the spot.</p><p>"It is now," he said smiling motioning for Suga to take the seat.</p><p>"Thank you, My name is Suga. You?" </p><p>"The names Bokuto and I'm the coolest person in this class!" Bokuto looked like a kid on Christmas after he got a puppy. Or maybe he is the puppy. Suga's thoughts were interrupted by someone leaning up from behind Bokuto,</p><p>"Id beg to differ Bokuto-san," He had a frown on but his eyes were smiling.</p><p>"Akaashi! I'm hurt," Suga couldn't tell if he was actually hurt or just pretending, but before Suga could decide Bokuto already started to talk excitedly about Something he had watched the other night.</p><p>Suga looked down at his phone, 6:00 exactly. He wondered if Daichi made it on time. His phone buzzed in his hand</p><p><em>’made it!’ </em>Daichi sent a smiling emoji along with a thumbs up. Suga smiles at his text before putting his phone back into his bag.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Suga only had three classes that day all only around an hour-long so suga was finished before lunchtime. He walked to the entrance and pulled out his phone to let Daichi know he was done </p><p><em>‘I'm by the main doors whenever you are ready’ </em>suga swiped out of messages and went into a game he had on his phone.</p><p>about ten minutes later suga got a response from Daichi, ‘<em>aight I’m almost there’</em> suga smiles and responds. </p><p>“hey Suga, thanks for waiting,” Daichi was walking out of the main doors. He had a camera over his neck along with a school binder under his arm labeled <em>school project.</em> “So do you want to get something to eat before we head back to the dorm? We can pick your car up as well of course,”</p><p>”if it’s not too much trouble, I feel really bad about making you almost late and-,” Daichi cut suga off before he could finish,</p><p>”no it’s no big deal, honestly I would have missed class entirely if you hadn’t texted and I have no complaints about getting to see you anyway,” Daichi smiled and Suga’s face flushed. What was he doing? He could hear a little voice in his head chiding himself for blushing. He had never been good with luck when it came to love, and he was in no position to try again after Kimura.</p><p>”thanks but I’m not that special,” Suga gives a small smile trying to hide his blush as they walked over to Daichi’s car.</p><p> “Maybe not but that doesn’t change the fact that you are nice to be around,” Suga was taken aback. He didn’t know how to respond so he just smiled. </p><p>Suga gave Daichi his car keys back and climbed into the passenger side. </p><p>“So, do you want to grab something to eat before we head back to your car?” The car rumbled to life as Daichi turned the key.</p><p>“oh no I’m fine thank you,” it was only 10 and Suga could pick up something if he needed later. </p><p>“you sure? It’s not a big deal. I doubt you got to eat anything since your car and everything,” the car rolled to a stop at the parking lot exit. <br/><br/>“oh well no I didn’t but it’s fine I could get something later it’s no big deal,” Suga waved his hand dismissively.</p><p>“Nah don’t worry it’s not a problem,"  Daichi pulled out onto the road.</p><p>"Well if you're sure then I guess," Suga hated asking for favors, but technically he wasn't asking.</p><p>"Sweet, what do you want? Dairy Queen?" Daichi was pulling out an orange from his school bag. </p><p>"One yeah Dairy Queen works fine thanks, and two, why do you just have an orange in your bag? Is it still cold?" Suga had new questions arising for Daichi.</p><p>"Oh honey I've got a lot more than one, do you want one?" Suga shook his head as he giggled.</p><p>"How many oranges do you have exactly?" Suga was scared for the answer. The sly grin spread across Daichi's face didn't help.</p><p>"Well, I may or may not have a whole bag in there,"</p><p>"I'm sorry what?" Suga leaned down to reach into Daichi's bag. Low and behold there was a whole bag of Oranges at the top of his bag. The mesh was tore at the top leaving easy access to the fruit. Maybe this was why the dorm room smelled like oranges instead of lemons Like the hall does. Suga's laugh echoed throughout the car as Daichi joined him. </p><p>"What? It's not as weird as having lemons in your water," Daichi pointed over to Suga's water bottle. </p><p>"Lemon water is the best kind of water," Suga stated defensively, "What do you have against it?" </p><p>"Okay, so technically nothing but its just weird," Daichi tried t defend himself.</p><p>"Says the boy with a bag of oranges in his bag," Suga mocked.</p><p>They laughed and made jokes about orange peels and lemon juice until they got to Dairy Queen.</p><p>"Oh, okay what do you want?" Daichi tried to catch his breath enough to tell the person their order at the drive-thru.</p><p>"Um just a fry and maybe a hot fudge Sunday, Ill pay you back obviously," Suga was trying to catch his breath as well. </p><p>"No need, it's my treat," Daichi smiled as he turned to order.</p><p>"I can pay you back its no big deal," Suga reached for his wallet. Once Daichi finished ordering the car began to roll forward.</p><p>"No seriously you don't need to pay me back it's fine," Suga wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or not but he finally gave in, putting his wallet back into his pocket. Once they got their food they began their drive back to Suga's car.</p><p>Once they got there they pulled off to the side of the road. Suga picked up his things and opened his car, placing them into his passenger seat. Daichi was grabbing his spare tire from the trunk of his car and a couple of other tools he had stored with it.</p><p>"Thank you so much for coming back to help me Daichi," Suga grabbed one of the tools from Daichi as they both kneeled down and began to take the tire off. Daichi put the car up on a jack as suga removed the hubcap.</p><p>"Don't worry about it," Daichi stuck wheel wedges under each of the other wheels and began helping to take off the lug nuts.</p><p>"Are we doing this in the right order?" Suga giggled as Daichi struggled with the wrench.</p><p>"Most defiantly not but how hard can it really be?" Daichi slipped with the wrench and fell forwards nearly hitting his head against the concrete.</p><p>"Be careful!" Suga grabbed Daichi's shoulders and helped him back up. Daichi giggled as they finished replacing the tire and parted to drive back to the dorms.</p><p>once they arrived back they decided to sit on the sidewalk and eat their food. The sky was a vibrant pink and orange as the sun began to set behind the dorm building. The street lights flicked on illuminating them from above. They sat in comfortable silence other than the occasional giggle towards Daichi as he pulled oranges out of his bag. Suga smiled up to the sky as he watched the clouds drift across the picturesque sky.</p><p>Click! Suga turned startled towards Daichi.</p><p>"Sorry," Daichi was lowering his camera, "Normally I would ask first but you just looked so beautiful, I don't mean that weirdly or anything but you are just really nice looking," Daichi stumbled over his words as he fumbled for the right ones to say.</p><p>"It's okay don't worry, no harm was done," Suga smiled, "Could I see the picture?"</p><p>"Nope, you'll see it at the end of the year," Daichi smiled secretively as he put the camera away.</p><p>They sat in silence for a few more minutes watching as the wind blew leaves into small tornado shapes. before they knew it the sun had fully sunk behind the building. They decided to walk back to their dorm room; the smell of lemons and oranges lingering all the while.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading my story, also I'm super sorry for not getting this out sooner. I procrastinated and then things messed up, things got deleted, things got copied and I somehow had half of the story in it twice?? I don't know but everything should be fixed now! Thank you again so so much for reading and the next chapter will hopefully be up next Sunday. And in Thomas Sanders fashion, Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals! and drink your water!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. street light glass and coffee beans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hey, I'd like to apologize for the unannounced hiatus. I don't really have much to say for myself other than I have bad commitment issues and anxiety T_T. I'll try to get out more chapters when I can, and to those of you who are still here, and stay here throughout my sporadic posting times, thank you so much I really appreciate it. Also, I changed my name to Kai instead of Naz, not that it matters just thought I would mention it haha.</p><p>warnings: Brief, mild abuse, mention of suicide attempt</p><p>explanations for what happened in these sections will be at the end of the chapter!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Suga woke up early the next morning. He sat up in bed and checked the time, 3:20, he didn't have class today so he had planned to sleep in. He plopped down on his pillow instinctively pulling his stuffed animals up to his chest as he breathed in the comforting smell of oranges and, smoke? Suga sat upright in bed now on high alert. Why did he smell smoke?</p><p>"Hey, guys? Are any of you awake?" no response, "Tanaka, Asahi, Daichi, do you guys smell that?" Suga's voice echoed in the dimly lit room. His bed stairs creaked as he stepped onto the ground. His phone flashlight flicked on, glinting off of the doorknob. Suga's hand met the surprisingly warm metal. he twisted it, causing it to click.</p><p>"Hello?" Suga parted the door, only to be greeted by a boiling hot wave of heat and smoke bombarding him and filling the dorm. Suga coughed as he gasped for air now thick with black smoke. "Help! Is anyone there?" Suga gasped again gulping in a lung full of black smoke. He pushed through the threshold and into the hallway unable to breathe.</p><p>All he could see was black smoke and flames engulfing the building. his eyes stung and his throat felt like it was on fire. every part of his body screamed in protest against the heat. He stumbled down the hallway trying to find the fire exit. As he walked the length of the wall his foot hit something soft. his heart dropped as he looked down. The outline of someone lay in front of him. Even though he couldn't make out who it was he somehow just knew that the person in front of him was Daichi.</p><p>"No, no, no, no, please Daichi, get up there's a fire we need to go," suga kneeled pushing Daichi onto his back, his face was shrouded in smoke. Daichi? Suga's vision began to blur with all of the smoke. He tried to blink out the smoke and tears but when he opened his eyes he was standing in a small park surrounded by houses. The only light source was a few street lamps and the moon. there were no clouds in the sky showing off all of the thousands of stars up above him. Suga gasped for air as he filled his lungs with the cold winter air.</p><p>"Well, well, well, if it isn't Sugawara Koshi," Suga knew that voice, he had heard it thousands of times before.</p><p>"Kimura? What are you doing here?" he turned towards the direction of the voice meeting Kimura's face only inches from his. suga gasped in surprise as he stumbled back a few steps.</p><p>Kimura laughed, "What am I doing here? Shouldn't you be asking yourself that question more than me?" </p><p>"What do you mean?" Suga looked around the park trying to place where he had seen it before.</p><p>"Wait, you don't remember what this place is? Wow, I'm disappointed in you," Suga flinched at her words, had he been here before? When?</p><p>"Why don't you use your damn brain for something useful for once rather than just letting it sit there and rot you, idiot," Suga took another step away from her.</p><p>"Please I don't remember I'm sorry," Suga racked his brain trying to find where he had seen the park before. His eyes landed on a set of swings. His eyes widened realizing what this place was.</p><p>"Ah, there you go, see it's not so hard to think now is it?" Kimura stepped closer to suga, "This is where we would sneak out to meet each other during the third year of high school. We always met on the swings, didn't we suga," She said the last part as less of a question and more of telling him. Suga cringed at the thought. It was less of them both sneaking out and more of her making him meet her there. She was always very possessive and commanding. He should have seen the signs sooner, but he was blinded by everything else, her smarts, her skill in volleyball, her looks, looking back it was so obvious, no wonder his friends began to worry about him, but he didn't want to believe that she was hurting him, he didn't want to believe that his grades were slipping due to her making him meet her at the park for so late. He was on his way to graduate top of his class, but within one month his grades had dropped to B's and C's. He was lucky enough to get everything back to A's and B's by the end of the year but he could never forgive himself for letting everything slip. Kimura of course blamed him for everything and he believed it.</p><p>"What do you want? How are you even here, I thought you were in a psychiatric ward?" Suga tried to back up but his back hit against a cool pole. He heard something crunching under his feet. He looked down to see broken glass on the ground.</p><p>*BRIEF ABUSE*</p><p>"Do you remember when you broke the lamp? You slipped on the ice and fell into the pole so hard that the glass shattered all over you," Kimura grabbed Suga's wrists as she stands her ground mere inches away from him. "You had to get stitched on both of your hands and your forehead if I'm not mistaken," Suga glanced down to his hands. there were fresh cuts on his hands. Crimson hit against the fresh snow and seeped into it contrasting immensely to the white fluffiness of the snow moments before.</p><p>"I didn't slip Kimura, you shoved me into the lamp," Suga remembered the events leading up to it but everything was a bit foggy after the fact.</p><p>"Shoved is such a strong word Koshi, seriously there was ice you must have just slipped. And besides, even if I did shove you you didn't even realize I did until at least when we moved in together," she had that right, suga hadn't even thought of the possibility of Kimura trying to hurt him. Of course, that was before they moved in together. Suga tried to pry his wrists away from her but she tightened her grip on him.</p><p>"Kimura, let me go," Suga was hoping he didn't sound as scared as he felt. He tried to pull his wrist away again but to no avail.</p><p>"Aww how cute, you won't even look me in the eye," Kimuras grip got stronger. Suga looked up at her but was startled by what he saw. Instead of Kimura, Daichi was standing in front of him.</p><p>"Daichi? What are you- where did Kimura-," Suga couldn't form a full sentence.</p><p>"Did you really think that you could trust him? Did you learn nothing from Kimura?" Daichi's face twisted into an evil grin as he leaned next to Suga's ear, "You don't get a happy ending with prince charming or snow white. No one will ever love you, not for real anyway," Suga could feel Daichi's hot breath against his ear as he hissed the last words.</p><p>"No, no you're not Daichi, he wouldn't say that he wouldn't do this to me," Suga felt hot tears begin to stream down his face as he tried to pull away from Daichi.</p><p>"Wouldn't he? Isn't this the way everyone treats you? Kimura, your parents, do you think that Daichi would be any different?" Daichi leaned into Suga so that their bodies were touching. "Daichi doesn't care about you, he is just trying to get you to let your guard down so that he can attack you when you least expect it," The world began to blur.</p><p>"No, he's different, I know it. he has to be," Suga's throat tightened up as he squeezed his eyes shut.</p><p>*ABUSE OVER*</p><p>"Suga, Suga!" Suga shot up in his bed gasping for air as he clutched his chest. "Are you okay?" Tanaka was standing in the middle of their two beds with a look of concern.</p><p>"I-," Suga let out a sob he didn't realize he had been holding in.</p><p>'<em>he doesn't care about you,' </em>Suga tried to shake the thought out of his head.</p><p>"Bad dream? Want to talk about it?" Tanaka pulled Suga out of his thoughts.</p><p>"Um, I-, no it was nothing I'm fine," Suga tried to wipe his tears away but they wouldn't stop coming.</p><p>"You are not fine Suga come here," Tanaka walked over to his ladder and held his arms open. Hesitantly Suga pulled the blankets off of him and climbed down the ladder. "Can I give you a hug?" Tanaka stepped back slightly giving Suga more space.</p><p>Suga thought for a moment before deciding, "Yeah, please," Tanaka wasted no time in pulling suga into a tight and warm hug.</p><p>"It's okay to cry, there isn't anything wrong with it or you," Tanaka's words resonated with him. No one had ever told him that it was okay to cry. He hated feeling this vulnerable especially with someone else. Kimura and Daichi's voices echoed in his head. He hugged Tanaka tighter as tears rolled down his face. "You don't need to tell me what happened okay? As long as you are okay I will pretend that nothing happened if you want," A wave of relief flooded Suga.</p><p>"Thank you, Tanaka, really thank you,"</p><p>"That's what friends are for aren't they?" Suga wouldn't know, any friends he had in high school he pushed away after graduation. The only person he sort of talked to after he graduated was Tobio, but he never knew what was going on, or at least he didn't voice any concerns. But Suga couldn't blame him for not saying anything. Tobio was a first-year when he left, and suga couldn't imagine putting so much on a fifteen-year-old.</p><p>after a few moments of comfortable silence, Suga and Tanaka pulled away from each other. </p><p>"Do you have any classes today?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>"No, You?" Suga leaned against his ladder as he steadied his breath and wiped the remaining tears off of his face.</p><p>"Nope, nada. I was wanting to go get a coffee from the coffee shop right off-campus, plus I want to say hi to a friend of mine!" Suga giggled at Tanaka's enthusiasm, "Do you want to come with?"</p><p>"Um, sure if you don't mind of course," Suga silently cursed himself for accepting. he didn't want to cause Tanaka any more trouble than he already has.</p><p>"Yeah! of course I'm okay with it. I offered to take you didn't I?" Tanaka pulled a sweatshirt on over his graphic T-Shirt. Suga reached for his hoodie, but something else catches his eye. Daichi's school sweatshirt. He forgot to give it back so it has just been sitting on his desk. He grabbed the sweatshirt and pulled it on after he changed into some jeans and a T-Shirt.</p><p>"Wait, I thought you didn't have a car?" Suga remembered Asahi talking about taking Noya and Tanaka places in return for food.</p><p>"What? Oh, I don't have a car but I do have a motorcycle. I just like to drive with Asahi because he has good music taste and I don't like to drive in the rain or cold, Noya on the other hand, does not have any transportation other than Asahi," Tanaka added the last part as he opened the door to the hallway. Suga winced remembering his dream.</p><p>"Hey, where is Daichi? And Asahi?" Suga looked around realizing that no one was in the room other than them.</p><p>"Asahi had classes and Daichi went to meet a friend who recently transferred into our university," Suga followed Tanaka out of the door and down the hallway. They passed a room with the door cracked open.</p><p>"God da-" Tanaka mumbled the wrest of the sentence as he walked into the room.</p><p>"Tanaka? What are you doing?" Suga stopped in the middle of the hall.</p><p>"Hey Iwa, your damn boyfriend left the door open again!" Tanaka turned the light on in the room and smacked the side of the bed. Suga jumped a little bit and stepped back from the door.</p><p>"What the hell?" A groggy voice came from the room, "Tanaka? What are you-," </p><p>Tanaka cut him off "Oikawa left the door opened again. You told me if I ever see it opened to tell you because it was probably Oikawa," Oikawa? Wasn't that the guy's name that was sleepwalking in the middle of the road?</p><p>"Shit, it was opened?" Someone climbed out of the bed on his left closes to the door and walked over to the bed across from him and climbed up the ladder. "Oikawa?" He pulled the blankets aside, "Damn it," He climbed down from the ladder and turned to head out the door.</p><p>"Oh, it's you, Suga right?" Iwaizumi pointed at suga as he walked out the door, "I don't think that I introduced myself, my name is Iwaizumi, but some people," He glared at Tanaka, "Call me Iwa,"</p><p>"Hey at least I don't call you Iwa-chan," Tanaka held his arms up in defense. Iwaizumi grumbled as he walked down the hall sleepily.</p><p>"Does Oikawa sleepwalk a lot?" Suga asked as Tanaka closed the door and walked over to him.</p><p>"Oh yeah, so much so that the school put a special lock on their door that Oikawa wouldn't be able to open when he was sleeping, but that obviously didn't work. Do you know Oikawa?" they made their way to the elevator.</p><p>"Not exactly, he was sleepwalking in the parking lot and I almost hit him with my car," Suga remembered how Oikawa had mumbled about aliens as Iwaizumi let him away.</p><p>Tanaka began to laugh, "Seriously? Why is that not hard to believe?" </p><p>They laughed together as the elevator came into sight. Tanaka pushed the call button, and with a ding, the doors opened up and they stepped into it. Suga shivered slightly remembering a scene from a tv show he watched a while back.</p><p>"Don't like elevators?" Tanaka snaped suga back to reality as he clicked the ground floor button.</p><p>"What? Oh, no I'm not a fan of them," Suga rubbed the back of his neck as the elevator lurched downwards. Suga squeezed the railing the whole way down. When the doors slid opened Tanaka and him stepped out. They made their way to the glass front doors and down the sidewalk. They passed the street lamp that Daichi and Suga had sat under both when he had a panic attack and when they had gotten food together.</p><p>'<em>you can't trust these people, they only want to hurt you,</em>' Suga shivered at the line trying to get the thought out of his head. That wasn't Daichi it was a twisted version of Kimura. Suga tried to take his mind off of his dream by starting a conversation with Tanaka.</p><p>"So, how long have you known everyone in the dorm and noya?"</p><p>"Well, Noya and I have known each other since grade school, and I've known Asahi and Daichi for only about a year or so," Tanaka was digging in his pocket for the keys to his bike. Suga nodded as he thought of something else he could say.</p><p>"How do you know Iwaizumi and Oikawa?" Suga remembered how he talked to Iwaizumi as if they were old friends.</p><p>"Oh, Iwa? He and Oikawa are Noya's roommates," Tanaka found his keys and stoped at a fancy looking motorcycle, "Here she is, beautiful ain't she?" Tanaka smiled as he puffed out his chest and put his hands on his hips.</p><p>"She is fancy looking," Suga smiled at Tanaka. They both got onto the bike and Tanaka started the engine.</p><p>"Um, Tanaka? Aren't you forgetting something?" Suga taped his head with an eyebrow raised. </p><p>"Oh, shit! My license got suspended for a week!" Tanaka pouted.</p><p>"You what? I was referring to your helmet, what the hell did you do to get your license suspended?" Suga leaned back to get a clear look at Tanaka's face. He turned red and rubbed his neck laughing,</p><p>"Oh yeah helmets I've got one right here, you can use it if you want," Tanaka handed Suga the helmet.</p><p>Suga pushed the helmet back at Tanaka, "One, no I'm good you use the helmet, but two, how did you get your license suspended and why are you trying to drive without it? What if you get pulled over?"  Tanaka took the helmet and put it on.</p><p>"Yeah, Suga, <em>if</em> I get pulled over," Tanaka revved the engine and pushed off.</p><p>"Tanaka!" Suga grabbed onto his shoulders as Tanaka pulled out and onto the road</p><p>Tanaka sped down the road in the direction of the cafe. It was at this moment Suga began questioning his life choices. “Tanaka please be careful!” Suga’s words got lost in the wind as they sped down the road. He took this time to appreciate all of the trees. He hadn't seen trees like this since high school. The autumn colored leaves swirled through the air as they fell to the ground. The air smelled of smoke from burning leaves. The cool air whisked past him and blew his hair out of his face and into it all at once. The road was pretty much one straight stretch without many lights that went all the way down until it hit the downtown area that had a lot of cute shops Suga had passed by on his way to the dorms. the campus was close to the downtown area as well.</p><p>Suga's mind drifted to the dream he had had. Everything felt so real, from the smoke in his lungs to the bitter cold of the air all the way to the force that was used to shove him into the street lamp. Daichi's words echoed in his head <em>'Did you really think that you could trust him? Did you learn anything from Kimura?'</em> why did his mind compare Daichi to Kimura? They were completely different, and he didn't feel anything towards Daichi. Suga felt something in his heart shift. Something he couldn't quite explain. Kimura was manipulative and didn't care, while Daichi is considerate and kind.<em> 'was kimura really that bad though? She apologized again and again so she must have been sorry,'</em> no, Suga new better than to think like that. His therapist tells him every time he sees her that she was trying to hurt him. She manipulated him onto thinking she was the victim, in turn hurting Suga's mental state drastically. Having said that what's to say that Daichi isn't doing the same thing? What's to say that he doesn't really care about him and that he just wants to hurt him? Suga tried to image Daichi as someone like Kimura, someone who wanted to hurt him, but all he could see was his warm smile and full laugh that brought joy to anyone who heard it. He could hear his gentle voice comforting him after his panic attack, How could someone like Daichi be pretending? His mind flashed to when he first met Kimura, her laugh could fill an empty room with joy, her smile was brighter than the sun. Suga realized that she was a lot more like the sun than he had first thought. She was always bright and mesmerizing, but the closer he got to her the more he realized that she could burn him and he saw just how painful it was to be near her, how hard it was to look at her without wincing. Daichi on the other hand was something more like the moon. He was cool and calm, he was beautiful to look at and he seemed harmless to be near. <em>Wait, did I just call Daichi beautiful?"</em> Suga's face began to flush as he tried to push the thought out of his head.</p><p>In front of them, the road split off in two directions, one towards downtown, and the other towards some off-campus apartments. Tanaka slowed down as he came upon the downtown area. Shops began to fly past him on either side of him. He saw antique shops, boutiques, and coffee shops. Tanaka pulled into one of the parking spots on the right side of the street. the shop in front of them was called "The Bean Coffee" Suga chuckled at the name.</p><p>"Ah, here we are ticked free and ready to eat," Tanaka pulled off the helmet and shook his head. Why? Suga had no idea. It wasn't like Tanaka had any hair to fluff up. They both got off the bike and started towards the cafe. </p><p>As they neared the door Suga's eye caught something colorful on the door. Suga looked down to see a sticker on the door that was rainbow on the left and the trans flag on the right. The sticker read,</p><p>
  <em>We accept everyone regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, race, or religion. The only thing we don't accept is hate and fireworks inside the store"</em>
</p><p>Suga smiled at the sticker it was always nice to see accepting places, 'wait, What had happened with fireworks in the store?'</p><p>Tanaka must have seen him starring at the sticker because he chuckled as he tugged the door opened, "To this day they still won't let noya and me in the store at the same time,"</p><p>"Wait does this happen to have something to do with the fireworks?" Suga raised an eyebrow at Tanaka trying to keep a straight face.</p><p>"Okay one, it was one time and an accident, and two, why did they have to make a joke about it if they weren't going to let us in the store together? But hey, they are inclusive as hell so I'm chill," Suga tried to hide his laughter. How did Tanaka and Noya find a way to set fireworks off in the store?</p><p>The smell of coffee hit suga as Tanaka opened the glass door, followed by an array of voices echoing throughout the room. The bustle of all the college students trying to get their morning coffee before classes start. There looked to be a few high school students as well. Most likely studying for tests that coming week. As they walked towards the front counter Suga tried to take everything in. It was a small cozy room with dark wood walls and an open ceiling showing off the piping. The counter was in the shape of an "L" with a glass display showing off different types of chocolate and caramels. there were circular tables spread out through the shop, And there was a bar-like place against the wall with pictures lining the wall. There were eight stools lining the bar table with charging ports on the wall. three of them were occupied by people with coffee and computers. Suga moved his attention over to the booths on the other side of the shop. There were small booths lining the left lower half of the wall.</p><p>A loud bang on a table made Suga jump and turn to the direction of the noise.</p><p>"This is stupid! I'm never going to pass this stupid test!" Suga recognized that voice, It was Tobio Kageyama, His High school's lead setter for the boy's volleyball team. He had taken over for Suga after he left.</p><p>"Kageyama! You are going to draw attention to us!" There was a short blond girl panicking trying to calm Tobio down.</p><p>"Wait, how did you get three? I got twenty-five!" There was a boy with bright orange hair sitting with them too.</p><p>"Hinata how did you get twenty-five?" The girl looked about really to strangle the two of them or about ready to breakdown and cry.</p><p>"You know them or something?" Tanaka followed Suga's gaze to the three of them.</p><p>"Yeah, I know the one with black hair, we used to play volleyball together," Suga nodded towards the table.</p><p>"ah, why don't you go say hi, I'll get us some coffee and find a table. What type of coffee do you want?" Tanaka asked.</p><p>"Oh, I can pay you back, and surprise me on the coffee," Suga hesitated not wanting to cause Tanaka any inconveniences.</p><p>"Nah its no biggie coffee here is really cheap despite the amazing quality," Tanaka gave suga a thumbs up and headed towards the counter.</p><p>"Thank you, Tanaka!" Suga called after him.</p><p>Tanaka turned so that he was walking backwards, "Why of course my dear budd-," The end of "buddy" turned into more of a high pitched scream as he walked right into someone holding a tray with an empty cup on it.</p><p>"Tanaka how many times do I have to tell you to watch where you are going!" The person said it in more of a teasing manner than anything else.</p><p>"Sorry Yui, I Didn't see ya there," Tanaka rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. as he walked around, her? Suga couldn't quite tell, they had a pretty feminine face, but they presented themself more masculine. They had short hair and they were wearing the male uniform. Suga then saw a pin on their apron, it was the non-binary flag. Suga smiled and waved an apology before making his way over to Tobio's table. The sound of Yui nagging Tanaka became distant as he got closer to the table.</p><p>"Hey Tobio, long time no see," Suga waved as he approached the table.</p><p>"Suga? What are you doing here?" Tobio was looked up from his books and stared at him in confusion.</p><p>"My college is just a little bit away from here, one of my roommates brought me," Suga pointed at Tanaka who was now ordering the coffees, "Why are you here? Karasono isn't anywhere near here,"</p><p>The blond girl cut in, "Oh, It's a second-year trip, we're up here for a volleyball training camp. But we have tests all next week that we need to study for, well I say we loosely," The girl looked over in Tobio and the other boy, Hinata's direction.</p><p>"Yachi!" Hinata made a fake hurt face.</p><p>"I'm sorry I didn't mean any harm!" Yachi panicked.</p><p>the two of them pouted for a second before Tobio spoke up,</p><p>"What happened to your forehead?" Suga's hand shot up to the scar above his right eyebrow. Suga hadn't realized that the last time he had seen him suga was still with Kimura, and nothing bad had happened.</p><p>"Oh, um it was a stupid accident. I slipped into a light pole and the glass broke," It was a stupid lie, he knew that. But it was what Suga had used for the past three years so no point in changing the story now.</p><p>"That must have been one hell of a slip," Tanaka came up from behind him holding two cups, one with steaming black coffee, and the other with a lighter iced coffee. "I got you an iced coffee since Yui said its the best in their opinion,"</p><p>Suga was glad for a topic change, "Thank you," he grabbed the coffee and took a sip. It was really good, the cream balanced the bitterness of the coffee really nicely.</p><p>"Hey, Suga, hows things with Kimura?" Suga's heart lept up into his throat. He turned to face Kageyama again. His face was painted with innocent curiosity. Suga hadn't told anyone about what was going on with Kimura even after she was hospitalized.</p><p>"Who?" Hinata, Tanaka, and Yachi all asked in unison.</p><p>"oh, uh, we uh, broke up," could he have been more obvious? Tanaka seemed to pick up on something but decided not to bring it up.</p><p>"Well you cant save every relationship, and besides, I've seen you and Daichi," Sugas face flushed bright red. </p><p>"What? Daichi, what about him? he's my friend!" Suga didn't know why he was reacting this way. Sure, Daichi was good looking anyone could see that, but Suga didn't like him. 'besides, I'm in no position to start dating again and Daichi deserves so much more than to be my rebound' "No I don't like him, he's just someone that I admire and above all he's my friend," Suga tried to defend himself as he rubbed the blush off his face.</p><p>"Wait you're gay?" Tobio still looked very confused.</p><p>"No, well, no I'm not," Suga stumbled trying to find the right words, "I do like girls but I also like guys, so bi I guess?"</p><p>"Ah okay, that makes sense," Tobio stuffed a bite of croissant into his mouth as he flipped the page of his school book, "Can't we just play volleyball already?"</p><p>"Yeah if you don't mind failing all of those tests," Yachi reminded him. Hinata groaned and threw his head onto his books shaking the table. That was a close one, Suga took a few breaths to steady his heartbeat and took a sip of the coffee. It was in a mason jar unlike Tanaka's which was in just a simple white mug. </p><p>"Well, I don't want to keep you from studying for those tests, have fun you three," Suga waved goodbye and found a seat with Tanaka near one of the windows. Suga could see Tanaka's bike in the street and the white fluffy clouds streaking across the bright autumn sky.</p><p>"Is Kimura the girl that was in that picture you had the other night?" Suga's heart skipped a beat.</p><p>"Yeah, that was her," He tried his best to keep it vague so that Tanaka wouldn't ask anything else about her.</p><p>*MENTION OF PAST RELATIONSHIPS AND SUICIDE MENTION*</p><p>"Well, I'm glad you go out of the relationship," Tanaka blew on his coffee.</p><p>Suga didn't know what to say, was it that obvious? "How did?" he didn't know how to ask.</p><p>"How did I know? It takes one to know one I guess, granted I don't know how bad your situation was but with the way you talk about her it's obvious it wasn't healthy," Suga couldn't believe it. Tanaka didn't seem like the kind to talk about his feelings let alone something as personal as this.</p><p>"It wasn't that bad, I mean it could have been worse. It was mainly verbal but," Suga trailed off.</p><p>"It's okay you don't need to tell me I understand how hard it is to talk about stuff like that. It was all verbal for me so I guess you could say I'm lucky in the grand scheme of things," Tanaka laughed sourly, "But that was two years ago and I've been able to overcome most of the damage she did so," he shrugged as he took a sip of coffee.</p><p>"Well I'm glad that you got out as well, It's only been about three months since I got out and it feels weird being able to do whatever I want whenever I want," Suga mentally chided himself for oversharing.</p><p>"I know right? It's so refreshing but it feels wrong for the first month or so. Just goes to show how messed up what they did to us is," Tanaka took another sip of coffee. Suga went to drink his too only to see that he had already finished it. Slightly disappointed he set it down and gazed out the window.</p><p>"If you don't mind me asking, how did you get out?" Suga asked.</p><p>"It's fine, I don't mind, my friends actually found out and told me she was using me and they helped me out, You? If you don't mind me asking of course," </p><p>"Its a long story but basically she tried to jump off a bridge and was taken to a psychiatric ward, so I sort of just left. I don't even think she knows I moved out of our old apartment if I'm being honest. Actually I don't even know if she's still in the ward," Three months seemed like a long time to keep someone in a psychiatric ward, especially if she didn't show any signs of being suicidal again.</p><p>*MENTION OVER*</p><p>"Well I'm done if you want we can head back to the dorm," Tanaka set his mug down.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm done, Thank you so much for taking me," Suga stood up and pushed his chair in. He waved at Tobio before heading out the door to Tanaka's bike. Once they reached the bike Tanaka grabbed the helmet and handed it to Suga.</p><p>"no you use it I'll be fine," Suga pushed it back in Tanaka's direction.</p><p>"Suit yourself," Tanaka shrugged and put the helmet on. They both got onto the bike and Tanaka started the engine. They rolled out of the parking spot and began to drive back in the direction of the dorm. </p><p>As they approached the split Suga got a weird feeling he couldn't quite describe it but something in him told him danger. He looked around to try and see if he could see anything that would cause him to feel anxious but couldn't see anything. They were just about to merge onto the main road that leads all the way back past the dorms. Suga shook off the feeling and tried to occupy his mind with something else. As Tanaka merged onto the road there was a loud screech and the last thing suga Saw was a pickup swerving and about to hit them. Then everything went dark.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if you skipped the section with abuse, basically kimura was in Suga's dream and pushed him into a street lamp. She started degrading him and she morphed into Daichi who began making Suga question whether or not he could really trust him or not. If you skipped the other section with abuse and suicide mention it was Tanaka and suga talking about toxic relationships they had been in and Suga brought up how Kimura ended up in the psych ward.</p><p>I really hope that you are enjoying the story so far and I promise I will start updating regularly. At least every two weeks but I'll try for around every week to every ten days. Until next time! remember to drink some water and eat something today!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. MRI's and computer screens</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm really sorry that this chapter is so short I'll try to get the next one out sooner and make it longer. T_T also I'm super sorry if there are any grammar errors in this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Suga woke up to a lot of pain and a lot of noise. He tried to sit up but a sharp pain in his head and a hand pushing him back down greeted him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, don't try to move, okay?" Suga could hear Tanaka's voice coming from somewhere above him, but when he tried to open his eyes, the light stung, and his head throbbed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suga groned, what had happened? Why did his head hurt, and why did he hear people yelling?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the hell were you thinking?" Tanaka screamed at someone. Suga tried to piece everything together; they had left the coffee shop, then they started driving back to the dorm, but something happened. Suga tried to sit up again and managed to prop himself up on his elbows. He squinted his eyes open enough to make out Tanaka kneeling in front of him with his back facing him. Their bike was on its side, and one of Suga's legs was under it. He panicked and tried to move it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happened? Why are we on the ground?" Suga looked around, trying to find an explanation while still trying to free his leg. Tanaka lifted the bike enough for him to release his leg, and he pulled it up to his chest. He managed to sit upright and open his eyes more. There was a truck in front of them with a dent in the bumper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What was I thinking? You drove right in front of me I couldn't just stop!" a guy was standing by the driver's side of the truck yelling back at Tanaka.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So hit the breaks or swerve you, idiot!" while Tanaka spits out some more interesting words, not all in English.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you okay?" Suga turned to face a middle-aged woman kneeling in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh, yeah?" it was more of a question than an answer. Suga's mind swam with all of the overstimulation. Tanaka yelled in Spanish at the truck driver who was yelling back at him in English. There was a car horn blaring from the pickup and yelling from other people in cars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here let me help you, can you walk? " The lady held out her hand for Suga to take. He glanced back at Tanaka, who was now on his feet and turning around to check on Suga.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, don't try to move too much, I think you hit your head," Tanaka's voice was shockingly calm and steady. He made eye contact with the lady and nodded, giving her the okay to lead suga to the side of the road. Reluctantly He took the lady's hand, and she pulled him to his feet and gently wrapped her arm around him, but feeling suga flinch away from her touch, she moved her hand away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm a nurse at the local hospital. Can you walk, okay?" She eyed him with concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think so yeah, but my head is killing me, and it's bright out, and my leg hurts," Suga tried to steady himself on his feet. The lady gave him a worried look as she led him over to the side of the road.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suga sat down and put his head in his hands, trying to block out all of the commotions that were going on. Car horns were blaring at Tanaka and the guy who was still in the middle of the street. Suga could hear Tanaka trying to ask for the truck driver's insurance while the truck driver screamed that he didn't need to give him anything and that he would call his lawyer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you have someone you can call to come and pick the two of you up?" Suga herd, the lady's voice, pierces through all of the commotions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought for a moment before responding, "Mmh, m-maybe, my roommates?" Suga tried to piece his thoughts together. His head was foggy, and he felt like he was thinking in slow motion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, does your phone work? If not, you can call one of them with my phone," Suga lifted his head from his hands, squinting at the bright sunlight. He reached for his phone that was miraculously still in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the screen, There was a large crack down the screen, but he could still use it. Suga typed in his passcode and clicked into messages; he figured it would probably be best if he texted the group chat rather than calling one of them, that way no one would feel singled out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Sugamomma to oui oui baguette]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Hey, would anubody be abl to pick Tanaka and I up?' [send]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suga silently cursed at himself for the types but couldn't have been bothered to correct them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Jesus to oui oui baguette]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I have class right now, so I probably won't be able to for a little bit, did Tanaka get pulled over?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Sugamomma to oui oui baguette]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'No, we sort of got hit' [send]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suga quickly followed the text up with another one as to not worry him,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Sugamomma to oui oui baguette]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'We're fine, but the bike isn't' [send]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Jesus to oui oui baguette]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Are you guys, okay?! I can get out of class early if you need,'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Dadchi to oui oui baguette]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'What do you mean you got hit? Are you okay?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Sugamomma to oui oui baguette]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'yeah I said I was fine Tanaka and I just need a ride back to the dorms if you could otherwise we can walk it's not that far' [send]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suga rubbed his head, trying to alleviate the pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, could you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up, please?" The lady pulled him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see her lifting her hand and putting a few fingers up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um," Suga was taken aback by the fact that he couldn't think of how many fingers she was holding up. He squinted before settling on an answer, "Two?" The lady nodded but didn't look satisfied with his response. She got up and walked over to where Tanaka was still trying to get the guy who had hit us to give the information he needed to him. She walked in between the two of them and said something to Tanaka, who, in turn, looked back at him. He sighed, and with one more look in the driver’s direction, he flipped him off and walked over to his bike. He picked it up and started wheeling it over to Suga.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suga's phone dinged, and when he looked down he saw a text from Daichi,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Dadchi to oui oui baguette]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'I can come to pick you guys up, where are you?'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Mommasuga to oui oui baguette]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'But aren't you with a friend?' [send]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suga looked up to see Tanaka kneeling in front of him, setting the bike down on its side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How do you feel?" Tanaka was taking his gloves and helmet off and set them on the ground beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm exhausted, and my head hurts. And my leg is a bit sore," Suga added the last part as his phone dinged again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>[Dadchi to oui oui baguette]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'He's fine with it he won't mind,'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suga swiped into his phone to tell him where they were</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Tanaka, where are we exactly?" Tanaka's face became filled with concern, "Streetwise, I mean," his face fell with relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"oh, were on Fourier Grove," Tanaka pulled out his phone, "Oh, of course, it has to be dead," he shoved it back into his pocket and sat down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suga texted the street name to Daichi and put his phone down as well. He put his head back in his hands and tried to block out the light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Can you tell me your name, please?" the lady asked suga.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My name is Suga," He trailed off for a moment before finishing, "-Wara Koshi, Sugawara Koshi,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damn, how hard did you hit your head? I told you to use the helmet," Tanaka looked over at the lady and continued, "Do I need to take him to the hospital or anything?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wait, hospital? Why?" Suga didn't feel bad enough to feel he needed to go to the hospital, his leg was just a bit sore, and he had a headache.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That would be best, yes. We don't know how bad it could be, so it's better to be safe than sorry," The lady then directed her attention to Suga, "Were you able to get a hold of someone?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, my roommate said he could come and pick us up," Suga lifted his head from his hands again, glancing over to Tanaka's bike. It wasn't in the worst shape, but it definitely wasn't rideable. There was a dent in the side that the truck had crashed into, and the front wheel was flat. Suga figured it would be a while before Daichi arrived there, so he started to space out, trying to distract himself from his headache.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suga Thought back to when he would play Volleyball in high school. He hadn't played since high school, but it was still a big passion of his. He used to be the team's starting setter. Suga's team was barely a team his first year, and despite his attempts, they were quickly eliminated, as well as his second year. But in his third year, everything started looking to the bright side. The team gained three incredible new first years, and presumably, another transferred in during the summer. They were able to win in the nationals with first place, betting even the infamous Shiratorizawa and Aoba Johsai. He had also started dating Kimura third year as well. He mentally beat himself up for not spotting the red flags sooner, but he pushed her out of his mind instead of thinking about Tobio. Tobio was an amazing setter, surpassing Suga's abilities by a long shot. Though he had had doubts about his readiness to work as a team at first, he was presently surprised at how quickly he was able to fit into the team's rhythm. Tobio and another first-year named Tsukkishima had a harder time getting along, but even they were able to get along begrudgingly. Suga smiled at the thoughts of high school. Unlike most people, he loved high school and had perfect attendance until the winter of his third year. That was when he had gotten sick from staying outside every day for almost a month with Kimura.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I should call a tow truck for the bike; that is what you do, right? Shit wait no I can't call anyone I got my license revoked," Tanaka was mumbling to himself and sighed in exasperation, "God I'll just put it in the back of whoever is picking us up’s trunk and repair it at the dorm garage," Tanaka nodded and stood up, stretching his legs,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, if you have everything sorted out then I think that I'm going to be heading home," The lady stood up as well and pulled out her car keys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, thanks a bunch for all of the help," With a final goodbye from Tanaka, the lady was driving away. Just as she drove away, Suga saw Daichi's car in the distance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They pulled off to the side of the road next to the two of them. Daichi got out of the driver's seat, followed by another person getting to the passenger seat, which was closest to Suga. He was tall and lanky, with a red hoodie unzipped over a plain black T-shirt. His hair was sticking up in the back, but half of the front was thrown loosely over his right eye. He had a stair that was much more cynical than it was probably meant to look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>”Are you guys okay?” Daichi rushed over to Tanaka and Suga, kneeling down next to them. Tanaka stood up and walked over to the back of Daichi's car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kuroo, how have you been? Oh, also Daichi I need to put the bike in the back of your car," Tanaka opened the back of the car, not bothering to ask first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wait why not just get a tow truck?" Daichi called over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well my dear Dadchi," Tanaka said with a soft grunt as he picked up the bike and wheeled it to the back of the car, "That would be a great Idea had mt license not been revoked for a week,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" Daichi was about to argue with Tanaka until he noticed Suga put his head back into his hands, "Nevermind that let's just get Suga to the hospital to see if he has a concussion," Daichi walked over to suga and held out his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"'m fine, really," Suga looked up with a drowsy smile on his face. Daichi looked at him with one eyebrow raised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I'll believe that when you stand up on your own and walk in a straight line," Suga chuckled, it's not like he's drunk or anything. Suga stood up and wobbled a bit before steadying himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"See, I'm fine,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay now walk over to the car," Daichi's hands hovered over Suga's back and shoulder. Suga took one step forward but the world slanted as he fell into Daichi. "See? Now, will you let me help you to the car?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suga grumbled a bit but in the end, he gave in and let Daichi take him to the car. Suga and Tanaka sat in the back while Kuroo and Daichi sat up in the front. Tanaka's bike just barely fits in the back with the last row of seats down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The car ride was mostly a blur as well as the hospital visit. Suga remembered arriving there and sitting in a waiting area for what felt like an eternity. After that, he remembered being in a cylindrical tube thing that made weird noises.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-----------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who wants ice cream?" Daichi was pulling into a Dairy Queen drive-through and opening his window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oo, oo, I want a blizzard!" 'Tanaka sounds like a five-year-old who just found out that he was getting free ice cream,' Suga thought about what he had just thought and shook his head laughing under his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll have the same as Tanaka," Kuroo's voice reminded him of a guy he had seen on a tv show; he was pretty sure that he was a pedophile in the show.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, you guys do realize there are more than just one blizzard right?" Daichi sighed exasperatedly, "Were going to need a minute, please," The lady over the speaker told Daichi to take his time. He turned in his seat to face Suga, "What would you like?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, mm," Suga thought for a second, "Just chocolate please," Daichi nodded, then looked over at Tanaka.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oreo please," Tanaka closed his eyes and placed his hands on the back of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kuroo?" Daichi turned to face Kuroo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Peanut butter cups please and thank you," Kuroo smiled and gave a thumbs up to Daichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daichi ordered and pulled up to the window. He paid and passed out the ice creams before heading back in the direction of the dorms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>------------------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they got back to the dorm everyone had already finished their ice creams so they threw them out in the trash can next to the front entrance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Daichi, I think you are forgetting something," Kuroo said with a smirk</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Huh? What?" Daichi hit the elevator call button.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't live here," Daichi's face paled for a second before he face palmed himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh for fu- ugh okay I'll take you back in a second sorry about that," The elevator opened up and they all stepped in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oo Dadchi almost said a no-no word," Tanaka teased</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck," Daichi faced Tanaka with a deadpan face. Kuroo let out a laugh that, like his smile, sounded far more cynical than it was probably meant to sound. Suga hadn't even realized that they had reached their floor until Tanaka was pulling him by the sleeve to follow him. They made their way down the hall to their room and opened the door. No one else was there other than the four of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Daichi, mind helping me get my bike to the garage?" Tanaka grabbed a sweatshirt off of his chair and slipped it on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah that's fine It's on the way to Kuroo's place anyway, but how will you get home?" Daichi said, stretching his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Asahi, duh," Tanaka walked over to the doorframe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay fine. Suga will you be okay here alone?" Daichi glanced over at Suga, who was leaning on his ladder to his bead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah ima just go to sleep," He said with a groggy smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Daichi smiled and rubbed the back of his neck, "Alright I’ll see you later," For some reason, he sounded a bit awkward. Maybe it was just the concussion talking, but he seemed nervous about something. Suga brushed it off and climbed into his bed as they left the room, closing the door behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before long Suga found himself drifting off to sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I finally mapped out the storyline for this story so that will help me a bunch in getting the chapters out and knowing where the story is going. I made the mistake of starting a story without a clue as to where it was going to end up but now I officially have an ending!<br/>also, I don't think you realize how fun it is to type oui oui baguette</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Hiatus notice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hi everyone, This is just a quick notice saying that I will be going on hiatus until further notice. I've lost pretty much all motivation to continue with this story and school is starting back up again. I'm not going to abandon this piece but I sadly can not say when the next chapter will be up. I hope you understand and I'm sorry for anyone who may have enjoyed this story so far.<br/> until we meet again, Kai</p>
  </div></div>
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